Maintaining a Good Man
Many women believe that handling a good man is easy. It makes sense to think that way. After all, a good man is caring, understanding, and free from the troubles often associated with difficult relationships. He provides stability and support, creating an environment where everything feels effortless. However, the reality is quite different. While it may look easy on the surface, maintaining a healthy relationship with a good man requires a lot of self-awareness and discipline.
Why It Feels Easy
When a man is consistently good to you, it’s easy to let your guard down. There’s no sense of threat, no constant challenges to overcome. Everything flows smoothly, and life feels comfortable. However, as the Bible wisely warns, “He who thinks he stands should take care that he does not fall.” This comfort can lead to complacency, which is where the challenge begins.
The biggest obstacle in handling a good man is self-discipline, the ability to control yourself from taking his goodness for granted. It is not always easy to discipline yourself, especially when there is a lot of freedom with no limitations. Most ladies become swollen-headed and start misbehaving. The Greek philosopher Plato once said, “The first and best victory is to conquer oneself.” To be conquered by oneself is, of all things, the most shameful and vile.” This quote highlights just how difficult it can be to exercise self-control in a relationship, especially when dealing with someone kind and understanding. Many women don’t even realise they’re taking the good man for granted. Unless someone draws their attention to it or the man decides to talk about it. If that does not happen, be sure that the man will start to advise himself, which could ultimately upset the relationship.
The Risk of Taking Him for Granted
A good man often avoids conflict and strives to understand you, even when your actions seem selfish or thoughtless. Some women, knowing this, deliberately make decisions without considering his feelings because they have taken his calmness, love and understanding heart for granted.
Additionally, there is a tendency to fall into the pattern of “disobey and explain”, where the woman often disobeys the man because she believes she has an explanation that the man should understand. After all, he is a good man. But very soon, all that the man will see is your disobedience and not your excuses. This can make him very displeased, feeling disrespected and devalued, which could mark the beginning of something drastic in the relationship.
A clear example is the story of Eve in the Garden of Eden. Eve had a loving and supportive Adam, but she allowed herself to be swayed by her desire for the fruit, rationalising her disobedience. She thought her explanation would make everything fine, and so she went on to disobey Adam by eating the forbidden fruit.
For men, respect is synonymous with love. A man feels cherished when his partner respects his feelings and decisions.
Avoiding the Pitfalls
If you’re in a relationship with a good man, here are steps to avoid taking him for granted:
- Practice Self-Reflection: Regularly evaluate your actions to ensure you’re not acting selfishly or dismissively.
- Communicate Openly: Create space for honest conversations where both partners can express their feelings without fear of judgement.
- Acknowledge His Efforts: Show gratitude for the things he does. This will reassure him that his efforts are appreciated.
- Respect boundaries: Understand that respect is the foundation of love for most men. Prioritise his feelings and boundaries as much as you value your own.
- Seek External Perspective: Surround yourself with friends or mentors who can gently point out blind spots in your behaviour.
Finally, never assume that a good man’s love and understanding are a sign of weakness or an excuse to behave irresponsibly. The strength of a relationship lies in mutual respect and discipline. By recognizing the effort required to nurture such a partnership, you not only honour the man you’re with but also strengthen the bond you share.
