TALK ABOUT THE REAL ISSUES
Do you remember the days when we used to write letters to the person we were madly in love with? Letters that could take days, even weeks or months, to reach them? Do you recall the stress we often went through just to write something impressive for the one we loved? Sometimes, we even wrote with the help of a dictionary—hahaha! I’ll never forget the anxiety that lingered after sending a letter: wondering whether the person had received it, whether they would reply, when that reply would come, and what they would say in response to the message. Hmm… enough of that.
Do you also remember Yahoo Messenger? Those were the days when internet cafés were everywhere. We would go there to message our loved ones through Yahoo Messenger. But thank God for mobile phones today; those kinds of stress and anxiety are mostly over! Getting in touch with someone you love is now just a phone call away. Communication in relationships should be easy.
However, it’s shocking to realise that one of the biggest relationship killers today is still the lack of effective communication in relationships. You would think that the advent of mobile phones, social media, and instant messaging would make communication smoother. But surprisingly, that’s not always the case. Technology has introduced new challenges, like distrust, suspicion, jealousy, bitterness, and dishonesty.
Today, couples face communication issues such as:
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“You didn’t answer my calls, and you didn’t call back either?”
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“Who is that person on your status?”
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“You’ve never used my picture as your DP or status.”
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“You don’t call, WhatsApp, or text me anymore.”
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“You haven’t replied to my message, but you’ve been online.”
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“Why don’t you want to video chat? “Are you hiding someone in your room or what?”
Sometimes, during dating or courtship, we become so protective of the love we’re building that we avoid talking about anything that might “rock the boat” or “open Pandora’s box”. We often shy away from difficult conversations; conversations that matter for a lasting relationship or a future marriage. As a result, we fail to communicate deeply enough to know each other truly. We dodge important topics. When we’re together, it’s mostly about the romance, the gifts, the flowers, and all the dreamy things we crave in love.
But remember this: you can’t avoid the critical issues forever. You can let sleeping dogs lie, but they won’t sleep forever. Eventually, the fire, passion, excitement, and even sex in marriage will subside. That’s when the issues you ignored during dating often come back. And they can shake the very foundation of your relationship. You’ll begin to deal with problems that could have been solved or at least addressed early on—if only you had talked about them honestly. It’s far better to lose a partner while dating than to lose them in marriage. Be bold enough to ask. Be courageous enough to listen. Be wise enough to walk away if the answers reveal incompatibility.
The Bible says, “The man and the woman shall become one.” But becoming one requires clear and honest communication in relationships. When both of you are on the same page, working together in unity, I believe no issue will be too difficult for you to handle.
There is power in unity. There is strength in understanding.
So talk—talk. Have the conversation.
